Wednesday, 17 February 2010

A Crappy Post from a Shitty Blogger - a rant.

Poo in public toilets. I know, I know, this is not polite conversation – I hope nobody is reading this over their Weeties.

It’s just that this issue has bothered me for a very long time, and that sort of stuff is better out than in. Like poo, really.

This is what I find annoying. In the Ladies’ Toilets in many public places – railway stations, shopping malls, cinemas – there are often long queues of women waiting cross-legged, hopping up and down and waiting for a free loo (because you know how long it takes a lot of women to do whatever they have to do – and we do it privately in our separate little cubicles, unlike blokes, who can just whip it out and get on with it at the urinal).

Almost without exception, though, there will be one loo free that is avoided by the busting horde. Occasionally the next person in the queue will enter that loo, and with a squeal of distaste, exit again in a hurry. That’s usually enough to put off at least the next half dozen people who might have been hopefully eyeing the spare dunny.

Almost invariably, the only thing wrong with that loo is that some grotty prior user has not flushed it, and there’s a big poo in the bowl. Prospective loo-users take one look at that ol’ floater bobbing about in there and run for their lives – without flushing the loo, and therefore leaving it for the next unsuspecting full-bladdered lady, who squeals and hops away, leaving it for the next…. Ad bloody infinitum.

What I want to know is WHY? Why, in the first place, has somebody left the loo without flushing? Are they so busy that they can’t spare the half second it takes? Are they mentally deficient? Are they too short to reach the button? Is it their idea of a sick joke?

And what about the finders of the ‘left log’ – the ones who take one look and bolt, thereby creating a compound offence? Do they think the poo will jump out and get them if they try to flush it away? Do they think the owner of the poo left it there on purpose and might come back for it later?

Maybe the owner of the poo will get to work, or home, or whatever, slap themselves on the forehead, say “OMIGOD, I forgot to flush after that giant poo!” and dash back to the public toilet to finish what they began, elbowing their way through the waiting queue and apologising profusely:

“’Scuse me, I’m not queue-jumping – it’s just that I accidentally left my poo in there this morning, terribly sorry, and, you know, I want to put things right.”

That's not very likely, ladies – so here’s a tip: unless the poo is all over the seat, floor or walls of the toilet, it’s safe to flush the loo and send the offending poo to a far, far better place – like a sewage outfall at a beach near you, where it can chase the surfers and frolic in the sun. If you’re too squeamish to actually use the loo yourself after that, just because you caught a glimpse of someone else’s poo and had to face the grim reality that everybody else craps too, then at least flush it away and leave the loo ready for somebody else.


Tuesday, 2 February 2010

At the Crossroads - a dilemma

Dilemma dilemma dilemma. Here are the main points:

I’m miserable in my current job. Have been for a long time.

A teaching position (immediate start) has arisen unexpectedly. It’s full-time, ongoing, not far to travel.

I still miss some aspects of teaching (and still don’t miss some others).

Did I mention that I’m miserable in my current job?

I currently have an application in with another department. I just found out their recruitment process has been put ‘on hold’ and they hope to get around to short-listing for interview in 2-3 weeks (applications closed almost 2 weeks ago). That's the Public Service for you... a deadline is as elastic as - as elastic.

Do I apply for the teaching job and chuck in the glorious public service career? I took a ten grand pay cut to become a public servant five years ago, and the only thing it has going for it is flexibility – of working hours, of leave arrangements – that sort of thing. The other flexibility (one that really bugs me) is the approach to deadlines. As far as I'm concerned, a deadline is a deadline is a deadline. You have to be a teacher to get that, I guess.

I’m weighing up the pros and cons of returning to teaching…

Considerably more money.

Professional respect: I'm tired of the Powers That Be looking at my 'rank' here and assuming I must be mentally deficient. I don't need micro-managing and I am quite capable of writing a coherent sentence all by myself. I bloody taught kids how to do it for years.

Ownership of my work.

I love teaching.

Lots of holidays (even though you spend half of them catching up/planning ahead/doing professional development).

Lack of flexibility – you get leave during school holidays when things are more expensive and everywhere is full of kids and holidaying families. Your working hours are not-negotiable. The school bell, not your bladder, determines when you can go and pee – that’s an inflexibility that's hard to handle!

No more Phillip Island for me – both World Superbikes and motoGP happen during term time. Could also mean no Wintersun. Would put a big hole in my motorcycling social life – no, a HUGE one.

Have to take work home. Kiss your evenings and much of your weekends goodbye during term time.

You know, that hasn’t helped one bit. I guess it won’t hurt to do an application for the teaching gig and leave it in the lap of the gods. If I get an interview, and if I am offered the job, I don’t have to take it. It mightn’t even get to that, right?

In the meantime, applications close next Monday - that's only six more nights of tossing and turning on the horns of this dilemma dilemma dilemma.

Beware of the Human - a rant.

I’ve been quiet lately, but it doesn’t mean I’ve been doing nothing. I’ve been so busy thinking and reflecting that my brain is worn out.

Man’s inhumanity to man has, once again, surprised me. How does it keep doing that? Am I really so gullible as to believe, honestly, that human beings are inherently nice or good? You know, I taught Lord of the Flies to my students for years, and absolutely hated it for the brutality in it – the probe into the Beast that lurks within, just beneath the humane, civilised veneer we like to think sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. Somehow, though, I refused to believe that such a Beast really existed.

And then that massive earthquake flattened Port-au-Prince.

The law of the jungle is alive and well and living in Haiti. The biggest, meanest desperados get the frightfully limited quantities of whatever aid happens to reach the people. The rest don’t stand a chance. Nice guys finish last.

The opportunists take whatever they can and don’t care who they stomp on to get it. Escaped felons from the flattened gaol run amok - they rape vulnerable women because that’s the kind of lowlife pieces of shit they are – what a way to say ‘fuck you’ to the system. People steal children who may or may not be orphans, and try to spirit them out of the country. The trade in human flesh is always only a heartbeat away.

Scum rises to the top. People suck. The Beast lives.