Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Intruder Kitty must GO!

Okay, I've been patient through the long winter. My house is Cat Pee Central. Miffy is a nervous wreck who pees on everything she sees. She's too scared to venture through the cat flap, and has made a pooing place behind one of the armchairs in the loungeroom (coincidentally next to – but not IN - the litter tray I was inspired to install there when she decided it was a safe and private peeing place. Omigod, my carpet will have to go... )

Oscar bin Laden is Intruder Kitty's best friend, apparently. He sat on the window sill one afternoon, blithely watching IK saunter past him up the back steps, in through the cat flap, back out through the cat flap in rather a hurry, and back down the steps, closely followed by Cranky Betty.

But my patience is at an end. A nasty, sleepless end.

There are no limits to the audacity of Intruder Kitty. He has begun toying with me – he has made me his mouse. He has more front than Dolly Parton, and I am over it.

After a 3am wake-up and a long day at school, followed by a long parent-teacher evening yesterday, I was falling over with tiredness by 9pm, and fast asleep by 9.30.

At 2.24am I was woken by the marauding monstrosity. It thundered through the cat flap, yowled loudly three times – a feline equivalent of “Nyah nyah, you can't catch me!” - and then thundered back out through the cat flap, to disappear into the night.

So much for my lovely deep sleep. My brain started ticking, whirring even – and I snatched a few brief moments of broken sleep filled with weird and tiring dreams that revolved around parent-teacher interviews and badly-behaved students, storms and wild weather, and a kindly giant. And then my alarm went off. Yay for caffeine – it's the only thing holding my eyes open, and I'm teaching a full day today with a playground duty chucked in just for fun – and tutoring after school.

Intruder Kitty is TOAST. Or at least, he will be if I can ever catch him.


lemmiwinks said...

I can completely sympathize about the broken sleep. I'm bumping my caffeine intake up to double shots, a single just doesn't cut the mustard lately.

John said...

You need a Magnetic Cat Flap to provide security against intrusion by stray cats and other animals. It works without batteries. The collar key is a strong magnet, about the size of a small cat collar bell, attached to a nylon adjustable safety collar that unlocks the flap, allowing access by your pet but not by others. It is suitable for cats up to 7kg (15 lbs). Door has a weather resistant magnetic flap and cover for improved energy efficiency and is simple to fit. Universal fitting for windows, walls, and doors.

Anonymous said...

The Magnetic Cat Flap sounds ideal, because it's a permanent solution, but if you want to try something else before spending the $100: temporarily nail a strip of wood across the bottom of the flap opening, so the flap can be pushed open when a cat is entering but not when leaving. Now when Intruder Kitty comes in he'll be trapped, until he figures out how to lift the flap with his paws.

Now all you need is a hessian sack (to initially capture the animal), a cat transport basket, and full motorcycle gear to protect your delicate human skin :-)

Anonymous said...

Poor Betty.
This reminds me of a story from my childhood in Goroka New Guinea. A family friend had a shotgun loaded with salt and whenever an errant animal came within range it was peppered - well salted anyway. Didn't really keep them at bay but he had a ball.
Peter G

Anonymous said...

I hasten to add that the shotgun was by his chair and bed. His wife was a nervous wreck.