Monday, 23 May 2011

Too Busy to Blog - feels like the world is ending!

  •  School has eaten my life 
  • My inferior pubic ramus refuses to knit 
  •  I am battling bikelessness and the depression that naturally follows that state
  • I don’t know how long I can keep this up 
  •  I miss my blog, dammit!
The less said about my lack of healing, the better. No idea when I’ll be able to get back on a bike, and this is causing me massive distress. Don’t even ask, coz I’ll bite. Or cry. Crying is more likely…

So, to distract myself, I’ve been thinking about toilet paper – as you do. 

I buy an ‘eco-friendly’ brand. Apparently it’s recycled (eeeew, I hope it’s not recycled from Other People’s toilet paper! YUK….) 

My toilet paper has little green frogs printed on it. This is supposed to show that it’s frog-friendly toilet paper, I suppose – but I find that peculiar. If someone wiped their bum on pictures of ME, I wouldn’t assume they were using Betty-friendly toilet paper… I would assume they were – oh, come ON – if somebody wiped their arse on YOU, would you think they were respecting you or caring about you???

Why do toilet paper manufacturers put cutesy pics on toilet paper? The other day at my daughter's house I had to wipe my bum on cute little puppy paw prints. Awwwwww..... And wtf have sea-shells ever done to deserve the ol' arse-wiping treatment?

Here’s a message to the manufacturers of the eco-friendly toilet paper – I would rather be wiping my bum on images of nasty environmental ravagers and destroyers – images of Exxon execs, for example – than poor innocent little green frogs/sea shells/puppies...

Just saying…

Oh. My. God. I need to be riding a motorcycle again. 

14 comments:

Raftnn said...

Bummer to hear the healing is taking awhile, keep us informed on how you are going. I can understand your frustration.

lemmiwinks said...

We're partial to Quilton because, as we're reliably informed on the inside of each cardboard roll - "Quilton loves your bum".

Time heals all bones Sue!

SonjaM said...

I see a serious case of motorcycle withdrawal. You need therapy, best the two-wheeled kind. I have been there last year after my accident, seven weeks sans bike. Not good. Hope you're back riding soon before you go philosophical about other household articles.

leecofarm said...

can you even sit on a cycle right now? course it makes a body feel good just to be able to go and look at your fast darlin'.

Geoff James said...

'ello Sue!

I see Raftnn used the term "bummer" - must be a Freudian slip :-)

Lemme advise you about toilet paper, hehe, seeing as pre-retirement, I worked for a pulp and paper company. Firstly, most of the so-called eco-friendly bog papers aren't. The only truly eco-friendly paper is that which has the FSC environmental certification logo on the wrapping. (you'll find it in Google Images). Same goes for any wood or paper product if you want to be really eco-fussy. I was going to say anal, but that would be tasteless given the subject matter.

Oh, and toilet paper made from recycled paper (not recycled toilet paper we hope)often has a slightly lower tensile strength so watch how you apply pressure ;-).

Well, that will have either educated you or you're comatose with boredom!

Heal quickly....

lemmiwinks said...

Geoff, that was disturbingly interesting. Sound advice about the tensile strength too! :-)

Geoff James said...

No worries Lemmiwinks! Amazing what you can find out on predominantly bike blogs :-).

Consider it a public service....

Gerry said...

Sue, may you heal soon.

Geoff, are you telling me that our toilet paper, "Safe" brand, which does not sport the FSC logo, is not what they claim it to be, i.e. 100% recycled paper?

Gerry said...

Lemmiwinks, you say 'time heals all bones', but blues singer/songwriter Chris Smither says 'time will wound all heels.'

Geoff James said...

Gerry,
Yes, it may well be recycled paper but the real question is where was the original paper from? It could have been from a source where logging is unsustainable like much of Malaysia and Indonesia, even non-FSC certified Eucalyptus forests in Australia.

If anyone is genuinely interested, just flick me an email through my blogsite and I've got some concise material. Pre-retirement, one of my responsibilities was implementing FSC certification in our own organisation.

Just as an indicator of the importance of FSC certification, many organisations round the world including the Australian Govt won't buy any paper-based product which is not FSC-certified.

Geoff James said...

Gerry: One last comment - just found this: http://www.choice.com.au/reviews-and-tests/food-and-health/beauty-and-personal-care/toilet-paper/toilet-paper-greenwashing/page/the-verdict.aspx

Safe is not FSC-approved (the highest rating) but it does look like the manufacturer is using genuinely recycled paper, even if the source is not necessarily certified.

Sue, sincere apologies for the posts - your head will really be hurting by now!

lemmiwinks said...

Gerry, Chris Smither needs better running shoes! ;-)

Gerry said...

Geoff, I now have a new problem: If it is politically incorrect to buy recycled "bad" paper, the wouldn't that just prevent re-use of "bad" paper, and thus it would just go to landfill? Surely it's better to recycle "bad" paper than to not recycle it?

Gerry said...

lemmiwinks, even better running shoes will, in time, wound all heels... ;-)