This is quite a horror story. Except it’s true.
Once upon a time, a little man called Campbell Newman became Premier of Queensland (a state with a colourful history of, erm, characters in
its political sphere). The little man, with a zealot’s gleam in his eye,
declared that he was going to address the ‘bikie threat’ in his state after a brawl
on the Gold Coast one day.
By ‘bikies’, of course, he was referring to approximately
one percent of motorcyclists. In the blink of an eye, henchman VLAD hit the front pages. Does Little Campbell have an ad-man giving legislation cool and punchy names that can be turned into cool and punchy acronyms? Vlad the Impaler, another colourful historical character, would be
proud. Anyway - the Vicious Lawless Association Disestablishment Bill 2013 (which makes no
mention of bikies per se – remember that,
coz it could attack an 'Association' near you any time it wants) is a scary
bit of legislative kit that attacks basic freedoms that Aussies hold dear.
Little Campbell, in a shameless grab for the approval of the
Common Voter (who we know must be a bit dim, given the fact that they voted the
fascist in in the first place), declared there would be a special hell for
bikies – their own uber-tough gaol and extra-special sentencing rules for
bikies for the crimes they commit.
Now, I’m all for criminals being punished for their crimes.
What I’m NOT for is ill-conceived legislation pushed onto an ignorant public
and supported by an ignorant police force who
can’t tell one bloody motorcyclist from the next.
Things have snowballed, as they tend to do.
- Queensland police have
been harassing ordinary recreational motorcyclists on their group rides,
and now – unbelievably – there’s talk of setting up a police hotline that ‘law-abiding’
motorcyclists can call to register their rides and thus avoid harassment for riding their
perfectly legal modes of transportation, paid for and registered to ride on
the roads they’ve paid taxes for.
- A bloke wearing a Sons of
Anarchy t-shirt was questioned by police, who thought the guy was an
outlaw bikie, rather than a fan of a television
show. (!!!???)
- Police RAIDED a meeting of
the Vietnam Veterans Motorcycle Club and a police spin-doctor (probably
the cousin of the VLAD acronym guy) said that the raid was part of a
strategy to BUILD RAPPORT with decent law-abiding motorcyclists.
- If interstate service stations
etc could kindly provide Little Campbell’s stormtroopers with video footage
of naughty Qld bikies associating interstate, aforementioned bikies could still be ‘done’
in Queensland for illegal behaviour (presumably, going for a ride together
and stopping for petrol.) The long arm of VLAD could stretch forever,
really.
If this isn’t scaring you yet – it’s not a story. It’s real,
it’s true, it’s happening right now. What follows, however, is pure imagination:
Little
Campbell was well pleased with the effect VLAD was having. Motorcyclists were
fleeing Queensland in droves. Small towns all over the place were going broke
because the streams of touring motorcyclists – who tend to shun highways for quieter, more scenic, more ENJOYABLE roads and out-of-the-way locations – were
no longer visiting and boosting local economies. You know, all those cafes,
bakeries, pubs and motels in all those interesting little places that get-there-fast motorists can’t be bothered going to…
But
it wasn’t enough. There was still crime in Queensland. Little Campbell wondered
why - after all, he’d got rid of the bikies. VLAD would have to work harder.
Little Campbell sent him forth, into ethnic communities, which everybody knows
are seething hotbeds of terrorism, organised crime and soccer. And VLAD also went into
the universities, where dissent is traditionally seeded by the wicked
intelligentsia. Schools, as the breeding grounds for universities, were not
impervious to the long arm of VLAD (Schoolies Week on the Gold Coast got
special attention, and not just because of the hordes of drunken nubile girls
who attended it every year). Oh, and workers’ unions - they came in for
super-scrutiny, because they’re full of bolshie bastards. Even the churches
were not immune (well, some of them, anyway, especially if they wore identifying outfits/headgear).
Meanwhile,
the corporate fraudsters, crooked pollies and other real criminals were having
a field day. Everybody else in Queensland had a yellow star and was under
constant surveillance by VLAD’s stormtroopers (who were not averse to taking a
kickback or two themselves, if history has taught us anything). And Little
Campbell saw the fruits of his labours and, well, that was that really. Queensland
– beautiful one day, police-state the next.
When
other premiers in other states saw what fun Little Campbell was having, they
decided to join in. ‘Ban the bikies!’ replaced ‘Advance Australia Fair’ and
that, my dears, is how the whole beautiful country went to hell in a
handbasket. A select few lived happily ever after.
Shades of Europe, circa 1935? You bet. Be afraid. Don’t let it happen
here – PLEASE!
I’ll end this rant with a poem I scribbled, because I need to lower my
blood pressure now, and fiddling about with rhyme and metre always calms me
down.
A southern biker
contemplates the Queensland ‘anti-bikie’ law
There was trouble up in Queensland for the word had passed
around
That new laws regarding bikies would be tight
So a simple threesome riding all together could be stopped
By a roadside copper looking for a fight.
‘Outlaw’ bikers started squirming, some were fired from
their jobs
Many quit their outlaw gangs in abject fear
Coz a charge that gets a normal bloke banged up for eighteen
months
For an outlaw bikie could be fifteen years
So they chucked away their colours and they looked like all
of us
Who go riding just for pleasure on weekends
But the cops can’t tell the diff between one biker and the
next
And they started hassling me and all my friends.
To those who say that innocence should mean no need to fear
I suggest you take your heads out of the sand
Coz today it’s only bikies, just the thin end of the wedge
But tomorrow YOU might cop the heavy hand
Of the lawman on a power trip, a government regime
Bent on plundering the freedoms that we treasure
And the coppers could be hassling you for being with your
mates
Protest NOW before the law curtails your leisure!
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