Earlier this year Boomerang Boy said he would take a break from rugby this season. I can't say I was sorry. He's had some impressive bruises and injuries over the last ten years, and my nightmares still resound with the awful thwack of flesh against flesh out there on the killing fields of thugby-land. Their necks! Their bones! Their thick skulls! Truly a mother's nightmare!
'So', I said, trying hard (and failing) to disguise my glee at the news. 'That's nice, dear. A break will do you good.'
He was almost dancing with glee of his own. 'I'm going to try something else!'
He finally blurted out that he was taking up Pro-Wrestling. Forgive me, I laughed - uproariously and for quite a long time.
'Well, you've got the build for it,' I finally wheezed. Boomerang Boy weighed an impressively blubberful 126kgs - a lightweight compared to some of the heart-attacks-waiting-to-happen that he played thugby with, but a bit of a steamroller on the field. It wasn't a great look.
Anyway, he signed up with the Pro-Wrestling Alliance Canberra and started training twice a week.
The unthinkable happened. THIRTY KILOGRAMS melted away! AND – Boomerang Boy, the Junk Food Junkie, the Carbohydrate Kid, the Maccas Maniac (you get the general idea) suddenly got interested in eating healthy food and sculpting his muscles, rather than just packing on some scrum-pushing pork!
He had his first gig last Saturday. Our old neighbours from Sydney, the lovely Wilson-Custs, came down for moral support -
and between us we made up “Rookie Southpaw Steve's personal peanut gallery” out at Woden Tradies. We yelled and booed and cheered, and were the biggest bogans ever – and had the best time! Steve was defeated, and ended up flat on his back on the mat, but it didn't matter. He looked mean – he's going to be an impressively scary wrestler, scowling and snarling his way around the ring – and I can see now why the lard has just melted off him. They're an athletic and acrobatic bunch, these wrestlers!
Oh – and while they look pretty mean, they don't seem to do half the damage to one another that the thugby lads do. That makes me a very happy mum.